Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Isaac




I have been thinking about him so much lately. I guess with everything surrounding children and loss and donating our time to make a difference, I just can't help but think of our story. Maybe someone needs to hear it. It will be long, but this is not a story of sympathy, but of hope and praising God for his love.


Isaac had just turned three years old when he was diagnosed with Autism. This was a word I had never even heard of except in the movie Rainman and I really did not understand it then. It started out with delay in speech, screaming at everything, odd behavoirs and fascinations with objects. I just kept telling myself, he will catch up, everything is fine, not my baby. I can remember distinctly the day at the pediatrician's office when she brought it up to me. I was outraged, hurt, scared.....I called my sister to drive me home from the office. I came home and spoke to no one for several days, I just wanted to hold him and not let anything touch him. I had four months until he could be scheduled for a diagnosis. I can remember walking into his room one night after Phillip had gone to bed and falling on my face before God. (you here about this in the bible and it is so true, you can litterally be so helpless you will fall on your face before him). I pleaded with him, begged him, to just take it away. I argued that I had tried to be so faithful to him and this is what he gave me in return. I even went as far as to offer my own health for his. I was angry. I had never been angry at God before, but this time I was furious. And just as God always does he answered me.... You want Isaac. Right then he started a healing in me, I had just prayed that God take away this child I loved without measure and replace him with a "normal" version. I decided then that we would do whatever it took to help him succeed and never be ashamed of who he is. If the autism was gone, Isaac would be gone, it is part of him and we had to embrance it just as we did everyother thing about him. If I was ashamed of it then he would be ashamed of himself and that was NOT going to happen. Over the next four months, God healed my heart a little more everyday. Just as a Father should be, he was so patient. I swear there were days when I could feel him holdnig my hand in the doctor's offices or putting him arms around me as I pulled of the road just to cry. I was an emotional mess durnig this time in my life and I remember my friend Marie saying "He is precious and I love you" when I told her the news. That is all I wanted to hear. I did not want to hear, he will be okay, I was not sure yet, I did not want to hear I understand, because they didn't.


This is not an overnight miracle, it has taken years of hard work from that little boy, countless tears on my part, an awakening in Phillip that it was real, and God being there to hold us up along the way. Autism is not a word we whisper quietly around Isaac or keep secret to keep others from feeling uncomfortable. It is a title I now say with pride as I look at my boy who has surpassed all of the milestones that doctors, teachers, and even I set before him. I hope as he grows that he will be an inspiration to other children and parents. I can already say that he is my biggest inspiration and I look forward to seeing what else he has in store for us.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

We are leaving!!!

Okay, it is 2:27 and we are about to go to the Lake for a GIRL's weekend! I am so excited I can hardly stand it. The best part is that I am going with my Girls! If you have read Devon's blog you can see we are all SOOO different, but it works. You know you have a solid group of friend swhen they can overlook all those minor imperfections (we all know what mine are) and see the best parts of you. It is a blessing to be a part of those moments that only we share, memories that we can pull out and laugh about when times don't feel so great. I hope when we are old and gray that we are still having these times and ohhing and ahhing over how gorgeous we were in our glory days, thanks to Jenny G's photos!

You girls keep me sane and I love you! I can't wait to see what CRAZY moments are to come......

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

10 Things About Me....


I have never done a blog just about me, so I figured it was high time!

So, here are some facts about me you may not know..... I am hoping this will get some one of my blogger friends to do the same!


1. The only scar I own came from opening a sticky hand prize from the cereal box with a kitchen knife.

2. I played the part of the coweredly lion in my first grade play "fitting".

3. This nose originally belongs to my Dad, mine is just scaled down a bit.

4. I dressed up as a mommy for career day at school.

5. I refused to attend Bible School for three years straight because a boy tried to kiss me, he is one of my closest friends today :)

6. I always request gas at the dentist's office.

7. My senior class picture is not in the yearbook because I forgot to turn it in, see this forgetfullness is nothing new.

8. I was in total shock when Phillip asked me out... I did not think he knew I existed.

9. I bought my wedding dress before I even got proposed to

10. My ultimate goal in life is for my children to look back and say " She may not be perfect, but she really loved us more than anything else in this world" That is exactly what I say about my mom.

God has blessed us with such a wonderful life and I want to share it with you!